Being Weird For God Is HOT

Smell the color nine...

2004-10-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

i recommend everyone in the WHOLE world to buy chris rice's cd...it's BB-UUU-TTT-FULLL~~
knowing God is like smellin' the color nine...haha, what an adorable way to describe God's beauty and wonders.
anyways, hello ppls...life has been stresssful lately....amazingly, God's blessing is still upon me. this morning, for some reason, i woke up at 6 30, and the first thing i wanted to do was jump down from the building.Life is so stresssful, i can't even find time to breathe the proper way. But of course, i've decided not to jump down, and made myself a cup of coffee instead. yum coffee, the strong arousing aroma and goes into the pores on the roof of ur nose and instantly hypnotises ur brain.*i am soo gonna pass my bio test*
after a sip of my wonderfully stirred coffee, i sat down on my gigantic table,*i'm serious!my table's gargantuan man!*yes anyways, i opened my math text book, hoping that i could get a section done rite before i head to church. For some reason, my brain just didnt wanted to do math. and instead, i was tempted to read the bible!can u believe it?*trust me, it wasnt the coffee.I'm positive*my brain automatically wanted to read the bible. It was as if the bible was calling out my name!evviiiee~~~~babiieee~~~eviiieeeee~~~babieee~~~~~ that's soo amaziing, dont u think? coz normally, it's my bed that calls my name..or that entertaining box that we,humans identify as the television. yes! such joy! surely,the highlight of my week, besides the fact that i'm going to the semifinals in burnsville!!!yippeee~~ get to cash in more of 'serving God'coins~*kah-chiing!!~*yea babiee...
sermon as usual, was as pleasant and satisfying as it is meant to be.some hardcore stuff from the sermon today,
"each time we sin, something dies."-ex:killin time, killin a pure friendship, destroying a relatioship, killing faith, killin joy
-think 'bout that for a lil while...do u still wanna sin now??sinning equals to killing.

miraculously, God still loves us and wants to forgive us. A love beyond description.

alrite, i gotta go watch the presidential debate for my Econ class now. y'all have a good one k?...God loves u...evelyn too~

-eviee babiieee

Shining Star 2

2004-10-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

so, hmm..shining star 2, that's what the singing contest is called...i'm excited for it, but yet, out of all these excitement, something's pulling me back. Is it my heart that needs some tuning? i'm nervous, but am i getting nervous for the right thing?
Is this really where God is trying to lead me to?...the song that i would be singing is called, "You Are My Hiding Place"
today, i learned a big lesson. Not to be mad at dad so easily. i've been yelling at dad too much lately. so, i was waiting for dad to come and pick me up at 4, he ended up arriving at 5 30, and my plan for this evening was to type out that HUGE paper of mine.when i saw dad's car coming, the 1st thing that i wanted to do was to yell at him. then i saw the tyre of the car, my dad's car had a flat tyre. It hit me hard right there. how disrespectful i am to dad. then, i remembered what JC said to me the other day on the phone, bout being patient with dad. i realized how i havent been doing much of that and my heart just broke rite then. felt so mean, so gross and rude and i pitied dad to have to put up with this blah~ girl.this is a good thing btw, i thank God for this lesson.
time management has been pretty tough lately, i got C's in two of my classes. and this shouldnt be happening, especially when my goal's to get the A honor role this trimester. =(
i'm sick of school.

2004-10-05T22:07:00.000-07:00

yea! u want some of ME???~~~

2004-10-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

this is us in the picnic, most of the pic were ugly, so, i chose this one..lol..that's hans btw

2004-10-05T21:47:00.000-07:00

we love each other, rite babie cat cat?

2004-10-05T21:46:00.000-07:00

aww....sooo sweeett~..it's ying and wei ming!

2004-10-05T21:45:00.000-07:00

want a hug?

2004-10-05T21:43:00.000-07:00

cookie anyone?

2004-10-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

very very cute

2004-10-05T21:41:00.000-07:00

my bday in 2004

2004-10-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

my bday 2 years ago...

2004-10-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

my iceland ex-bf...-___-'...i miss him tho...coz he's not here no more...dont get to joke bout his horniness no more..

2004-10-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

sending u ppl a smile all the way from US!

2004-10-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

Rose i miss u...

2004-10-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

ahh....me 6 months ago..

2004-10-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

this picture thing is very very handy..i'm luvin it~lol

2004-10-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

my dearest sister jean and i...

2004-10-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

vinh and i

2004-10-05T18:20:00.000-07:00

family and i

2004-10-05T18:18:00.001-07:00

chocolate is good

2004-10-05T18:18:00.000-07:00

the guys and i

i'm DOONNEE!! yayy~~

2004-10-05T13:10:00.000-07:00

I am sooo sooo done with my paper~that huge disgusting weight is now off of my shoulder!!*fuh*
but...i have tonnnsss of assignments still...they just wont ever end u know...and i have to be on task...everyday, i have to get done with at least 2 of my assignments...this is a must...i wanna get the A honor role in my college courses...by God's help and some more positive attitude, i will! yea positive attitude~! pile em up babyy~~~
location: Adrian's dorm room
weather: B-U-T-ful~~~~it's not as cold now...dude!! this morning, it dropped down to 30 degree here...a lil too cold for autumn...
yes..autumn...cant wait to see branchy and leaveless trees..i'm soo ready for SNOW!!!
time: 3:16 pm
tummy: pretty full, just had two pieces of m&m's cookie..i feel a lil sick now...they were excceedingly sweet..
i learned a new word today! grapple! doesnt grapple just sound soo fruity? it's like grape plus apple!! lol...it mean grip btw...
i'm finally starting on my first college application...i know i know, it's kinda late..but it's better late than never huh?...
my first Mac Phail music recital's coming up on the 20th of october...i have to tidy up my playing skills now...i dont wanna give a bad impression in my 1st piano recital. especially when i'm playing four songs!! wahh~~i wanna get good recommendation from Mac Phail, the so called best Music school in Minneapolis. so from now on, i am going to have to practice for two perfect hours a day...migosh...2 hours~ can i do it? yes i can!..lol..like bob the builder!!*ahh, good ol' times*
i've made up my mind, i'm majoring in music therapy in college. i mite change my mind in college, but i'm just gonna stay with this one for now.
today, i saw this guy and i couldnt take my eyes off of him..it's kinda crazy!! he's tall, he's very nice and frenly, he doesnt try to look pretty*he doesn't need to anyway*, very very good sense of taste*which makes me pretty worried that he's gay* he doesnt talk much, and most important of all, he has a silver cross necklace..it's amazing...and he doesnt talk in class, he takes notes unlike the other boys who wear ugly caps in class to hide their sleepy eyes....it's just what i need to see after meeting a whole buncha crappy guys who waste themselves out...it's nice to know that there ARE some nice christian guys left in this world...
anyhow, i better continue my burdenful and disgusting reading now...jk...i actually kinda enjoy reading...i would do it happily in my spare hours...too bad i have none this week.my schedule's too cramped up with a WHOLE buncha readings...ok...i'm not making sense now...i'm pretty lame...i know...but i also know that if u love me, u just gotta have to want to put up with my lame-ness....muahahahah~ lataz boys and gals~...
^^v peace
Evieeee-->this is awesomeeneessss~~ i get to type with different colors on adrian's comp!!!

guys are weird ya know~

2004-09-30T15:39:00.000-07:00

gosh~....plumb's songs are sooo goooodddd~~~
howdie ppl~...how y'all doin today?...i'm doing pretty ok...i've been really bz with hw's!! gosh~ they are like never ending rivers.hah~it's not like river ever ends anyways, unless it dries out, hopefully i wont dry out. i want my brains to be as wet as possible, especially for my english course.waahh~ a paper due on tuesday?? hohoho, i soo can't wait!
dude!pplz~ i think guys have finally lost their attraction in my eyes. or mebi i'm just not attractivel like be4 anymore. tambah lagi i've added 2 pounds this past 2 days.!! ahh~~
omg omg!! wanna know something?? the only guy who succeeded in attracting me this past week was my architecture class's teacher's assistant! isnt that grossSS?? i mean, dude he's like 25 or something...ok fine mebi not 25,i think he's 24, but that's still old man.he's about irene(my oldest sister)'s age lol. he's very cute tho, kinda like my ideal bf in the future. he has this look like clark kent(superman) in the office. he has glasses and curly hair. lol. dunno, i've been attracted to guy's with glasses and curly hair lately. for some reason, i dont think that sounded very hunky like when that's typed out in here. but he's very HOT mannn!! trust me! and very intellectual looking. if i was a manager of a company and i needed an architect, i would definitely hire him! hahahakz~
i think i'm a lil too desperate to be attracted to a guy lately that i often find myself sitting down by a bench,evaluating every single guy that passes me by. haha. then i'll go like, 'nu-uh, not this guy. YEA YEA !! that guy!! wooohhh~ guys with glasses! waahhh~ brown curly hair! hmm..that one looks very mysterious. awww, that one looks like he just broke up with his gf on the phone~ and EWWW!!y is he looking at me like that! omg! look away evelyn~ look away~~!"...hahaha...i know that's a lil too much huh?
tissana's trying very hard.i can feel it now, he's really putting in lotza effort in making me like him. ok, 1st of all, he's always asking me if we wanna hang out. then he's calling me like thrice a week! then everytime when we have our study time with chang and weiming and yidi, he's always trying to help me. and everytime when i help wei ming or chang do something, tissana will go, " evelyn~ u never did THAT for me!" sometimes that makes me mad, i mean, just coz i'm nice to him doesnt mean that i'll treat him extreme and exxcceesdddinngly nice, or mebi he thinks that i like him already--OMG!!!he thinks that i like him?? crap crap crap!! i mean, y would i like him? ewwww~~~grosssssssssssssssssssss....byuck~ewww...
ya know, guys anywhere can like a girl in a snap man! this is very discouraging. i dont know, this kinda makes me feel like the word 'love' has lost it's meaning. it's like even when i know that tissana likes me, and this other kinda cute guy likes me in school, i dont really give a damn no more. when i hear of these kidna thing, i go something like , 'cheh~' and do absolutely nothing bout it. i dont think i'm interested in having a bf anymore. mebi just for now--which is a GOOD THING! definitely an awesome thing!
gosh, i think my proffesor wired something very weird into my brain, seriously!!i've been thinking very literaturely lately~ kinda freaky~, it's like i'll look at the sky and observe the clouds moving. or the way the leaf turns when it falls of the giant tree, tho falling off, it still falls with a beautiful dance, somehow still wanting to prove that it'll always has some significant importance in this world. weird HUH??? whooaa~~ dont know where that one came from, but i gtg sell some coupon books now!....
this means, time for working out too...ehehe...-____-''
later guys~....
God gives rest to the weary and heavy laiden...isn't that something nice to know among the shower of heavy storms that u have to face everyday?....yea God's awesome...
=evie-- <3

God is....?

2004-09-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

i'm so helpless...
i've been trying really hard to get back on my feet and keep up my cheerful face...
on wednesday, i got back with God...well, at least i tried to...i knew i had to coz i was leading worship for youth group on friday...before my worship practice, everything was going really wrong...there was soo many moments when i felt like i didnt wanna lead worship anymore...and yet,God amazingly still allowed me to be soo fine on friday, my worship set ended up really powerful...it was amazing...everything was flowing beautifully...i just wanted to worship Him the whole nite...and i thought i was finally back on my feet...but then came.....
Saturday,my stress over my worship set was finally gone, and it was time for hws...hws hws hws....got so caught up with it..never knew i had THAT much to do...and i'm actually still not done yet...i still have 2 textbooks to read for my college courses' exams on tuesday...
stress, depression, they're all going on in me...working up all my brain cells...i know the right thing to do is hand it all up to God...but i dont know y ...silly me, it's been hard for me to just give it all up to God...it's like i dont trust that He's gonna handle everything for me...it seems impossible...
i know i should stop pitying myself...it's my own choice whether or not i wanna be joyful and thankful for wateva God has in plan for me...we learned that through MAC's sermon today. His mom just passed away. and yet, he's still standing strong on the podium to share his testimony. He said, God is GOOD. wateva that happens, God will always be good. and God will always be that same way when things are going well and when things arent going well. then he asked the whole congregation to continue the sentence..God is...
i wrote, God is good. God is faithful. God is awesome.i lied. i'm not feeling that way. my mind tells me that God is good. but my heart is definitely not believing that. I know, but i dont believe it. my mind and emotions are all messed up now. I'm not sure what's happening. what is God doin in me? i sound so weak huh? i'm pretty much contradicting my own self right now.i'm pretty much being a pain for God. i feel like being stubborn. but yet, i'm feeling so helpless. in need of God.

Psalms 13
How long, O Lord will U forget me forever?
How long will U hide Ur face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts?
and everyday have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O Lord my God!
Give light to my eyes, or i will sleep in my death
My enemy will say, " I have overcome him!"
and my foes will rejoice when i fall.
BUT...
I trust in ur unfailing love,
my heart rejoices in Ur salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been GOOD to me....

in need....evie...

....

2004-09-21T20:23:00.000-07:00

do u think it's better if i just express out what's in my mind?...coz now all i can think of is FUCK!...what the hell man, i'm never gonna change to the better....
i'm like stuck here....why the fuck am i not moving forward spiritually?? am i really that shitty weak?, is satan really winning an easy victory over me?...i hate it...i hate it...fuck u satan! leave my heart alone...just want u to go to hell and be tied up in chains forever and ever....FUCK U SATAN! FUCKKKKKK UUUUUUUU!!!the anger i have...i'm afraid i can no longer contain it....

y can't U make me feel like Ur real
like Ur there in every second of my life...
y do U allow me to make stupid choices...
can't u turn me into a robot
just for one day
that i can do everything rite?
i'm tired of making bad choices?...
am i stuck with this forever?...
i've really tried to stop...
living a life of doubts now,
thought i was over with it,
here it comes running into my brain,
all over again....
looked into the mirror,
yelled myself to stop,
be what He wants evelyn,
don't give up....
but i can't ...
i've lost my grip...
i feel all abandoned now...
like being dropped in the middle of the sea,
in the midst of a storm..
thunders, lightnings...
am i being too dramatic?
or is life just simply
an equilibrium of a drama?

jus when i think life's like a freeway,
U shatter my view,
now all i can see,
is a narrow path,
deep in the valley of darkness.....

a brand new week

2004-09-19T23:28:00.000-07:00

hello~~~ long time no update...sorry bout that, i got too caught up with school and sleeping....been sleeping too much at unusual timings...
so, continuence of my last post, dad and i worked some things out...he's not really sending me home after school anymore. i feel really bad watching him getting all tired sending me everywhere, so, i've decided to take the bus. the bus stop's pretty far from my house, mebi like 2 or 3 miles away...but it's a good exercise. i'm bringin my running shoes and track suits to school, so that i'll be able to run home comfortably. more like running to the gym close to my apartment. gotta be healthier.i'm soo NOT in shape~~ so i've decided to drop by the gym after school everyday.
yea, anyhow, today in church, we had a HUGE service to send about 20 of our members off to the new church that we just built. it's starting it's very 1st service next week. it's soo awesome knowing that our church is growing!
after church, we had our youth ministry team meeting. and i was given lotsa responsibilities for worship team. i'm really learning ALOT bout worship these past few months.
i had a long talk with Hans. i'm so glad that he's my sister's bf, he's the kinda guy that i wanna date in the future. well, mebi younger and not as intelectual and smart. He must be very good in singing. and he shouldnt be afraid in embarrassing himself.hehe..
oh, btw, i think my crush for tissana finally left my senses. He's soo not for me, thank God he didn't make a move or anything.*phew*
i'm soo sooo proud of myself, i've finished my hws! i'm soo ready for school tomorrow.
OH CRAP! totally forgotten to check out the stock markets for economic class. dang it~
ah well, i'm just not born to handle with money and all...i'm soo bad with them..
did u know that to love God, u can't just depend on ur emotions. i had a long talk with Hans bout that. He was telling me that u can't use emotions to know whether or not ur in love God becoz emotions dont last long in this world. i mean, u can be on high with God for one second, and extremely down the next.
to love God, u need understanding, u need to know who He really is and what He really wants from u and for u.That's y it's soo important to read the bible and pray everyday. No one can understand God's perfect wisdom, but just by knowing what He's done for me and how much He would do for me really drives me to love God back. and the best part is, i dont have to worry bout me not feeling in love for Him.
He'll love me forever. and through that, i'll love Him forever too. yayyyyyyyyy for me and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ~~~

i hate my life

2004-09-15T20:58:00.000-07:00

i cant stop crying....dad was so mean today...i really didnt know that he was waiting for me, i didnt see him, i came outta tissana's house on time with jesse...but i just didnt check that side of the parking space....really didnt know that he was there....i waited for dad for an hour, but he was actually there the whole time....how come i didnt see him? and he didnt look for me too!!dad said that i make him crazy...and he said that i'm doing it on purpose becoz i wanna hang out with my guy frens...but i wasnt...i honestly didnt know he was there...then he said that i'm a humilliation coz i keep on hanging out with guys...he said that it made me look cheap...he didnt stop yelling at me through out the whole way home....he just went on and on and on....i've never experienced that...listening to someone yelling at me for 5 minutes..endlessly...
5 minutes seemed forever in the car...really thought that we were gonna crash...actually at that moment, i really wanted us to crash..so that he'll stop yelling at me...i really wanted to be in a comma...
anyhow, i got to know this new dude from taiwan better today...his dad's a pastor too...and he's an awesome and caring kid...would like to get to know him better...alrite...i'm tired now...later...

focus evelyn.....

2004-09-14T04:00:00.000-07:00

y do i find it so hard to focus my mind on GOD? Y must i fall for this world so easily? wat to say? wat to eat? how to think? i'm just getting so tired seeing myself being what this world wants me to be.
I've received an email from james. he finally emailed me to tell me that i have the right to know anything ANYTHING bout his relationship with that girl. HAHA. this is a joke, isit? I dont think there's any need for him to tell and explain his relationship. I mean, he chose to have one, and i chose to keep my promise to him. i remember, i remember the reason y i promised God not to date any guy this year. it was becoz of james. it was becoz i actually thought that if i head back to KK next year, james and i would prob have the chance...i trusted him...he sounded like a pretty rational guy when i talked to him, and he made me think rationally towards my relationships with guys too. who would have thought, he'll go with a girl who he barely knows. hehe...i guess i'm a total freak in understnading guys...they can say luv ya's and miss ya's to u, but the truth is, there's someone else in their mind, how do u know who that someone really is?
oh well, a year of dating God.Nessa said something interesting yesterday..i was telling her bout how nice it would be if i get a bf now...i was getting kinda desperate yesterday coz of the fact that HOT guys were walking all round me!!!nessa then unexpectedly popped up the question,' but u dont wanna cheat on God now, do u?' that hit me...cheat on God? gosh, i've cheated on Him many times yesterday...looked at so many boys walking around...flirted with quite a few...horrible part is, God knows. He saw every single thought in my mind. He must have been pretty dissapointed by me...but hey, positive part~ in Matt chapt 6, it said that God forgives,and i should learn how to forgive myself too no matter how many mistakes i've done.
oh, yesterday, i was late for my architecture class coz of nessa's mom. she only remembered nessa's schedule and totally didnt care bout mine. actually i got pretty mad, but i was all nice to nessa's mom. migosh...really wondered how i can treat her mom that forgiving when my heart's still burning with anger. if she was my dad, she would be in a BIG trouble man. that's another horrible part, i can treat my fren's parents that nice, but yet my own dad, i wouldnt even look at him in his eyes if he was late. yea, in my devos today, the bible said that we shouldnt act all nice just to let ppl see that ur nice and good. so i'm trying to learn how to be nice becoz of the nice part of me, instead of being nice to make ppl like me...get it?? yea...u dont have to get it...
anyways, i gtg to school now....catch up with u tomorrow...
laters~

-ev

ok...today was weird...

2004-09-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

so today, around 7, frens came over...tissana, chang, wei, yidi, ying, and maori...they all came to celebrate my be-lated birthday, it was soo soo weird...
1st we went to tea garden for some black pearl tea, at there, they've decided to sing happy b'day for me, and everyone in the shop joined in...*gosh, made me BLUSHH*... then we went back home around 8 30, the guys wanted to watch a movie, but the girls wanted to play truth or dare. so the guys, being gentelmen,obeyed the gals' request and played truth or dare.. gosh, shouldnt have played...we played that game for 2 HOURS!! i got bored....but hey, guess what?? i kissed tissana on the cheek, yeap ! that's rite...i didnt want to....but that was my dare....i had to close my eyes and everyone stood around me, and i had to walk to one of them and give them a kiss on his/her cheek!i'm soo mad, now tissana's acting all weird....gosh....and i really really dont wanna like him....this is confusing all of my feelins... and he's looking at me weirdly now, there's like this attraction going on!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~i have to be far far far AWAY from him....=(....very very far away if possible...i just wanna cry...i know i'm liking him now...but, but, but....it's just wrong....
tonite was wrong, i'm gonna call tissana the first thing after school tomorrow, and tell him that i'm sorry for kissing him tonite, really shouldnt have...i feel so childish...wat kinda girl am i?? so cheap, plus ugly and fat....God, just feel like hitting my head on the wall over and over and over again....ahhhh!!! gotta call him tomorrow...
neways, i gtg now...
and GOSHHH!!! vinh is sooo irritating

school tomorrow...=(
evelyn

WHOA wHOA~~

2004-09-12T04:16:00.000-07:00

Look who got a blogger make over?? yeap~ i did all these all by myself...it was HARD!! it took about 3 hours to make my page look like this....gosh...i still dont know how to put music in tho...=(
yesterday was pretty simple, but something exciting happened!! guess what??? I GOT JC's package!!! i've listened to United for like 5 rounds already, !!! it's soo soo good~~ thank you JC! TQ TQ TQ!!!i cried....i listened to it while doing my devotions....this is what i told God...
Dear Lord, * began pouring tears*
it's been a week since i last had a convo with You. Before i can begin this conversation with U, there's nothing i can say but, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not thinking bout You enough this week. I guess that's y this week was pretty terrible, me getting lost in school, me getting weird teachers, me not paying attention in class, me feeling sick, me having feeelings for tissana, me not practicing the piano. God, pls teach me how to love U constantly. Let me know what is the meaning of me needing U, of having God in every single breath that i take. Thank U for sending Jc to guide me, teaching me the way to love U. Bless him, and keep his passion for you burning.YES LORD! keep our passion for U burning!!Pls dont let the fire go cold. yea, i know, i know, it's my own choices and doings that make the fire go cold most of the time...but, God.. never leave us and guide us/ pull our ears when we go notty / smack us when we try to be of the world....
i'm gonna pray for dougie boy too, even when i'm mad at him for not being accountable. I pray that He's seeing the glory of Ur name through out this whole week. and i pray that U'll send someone nice and wise and loyal like Jc to him too. coz i dont wanna be the only one growing in my spiritual life. it would be better if he's growing with me too.
And God, i pray that U'll heal MAC's soul. He must be deeply hurt by his mom's death right now Lord. But God, let him know that U give and take away, even ppl who we care the most, U have the power to take them away. Let Him know that everything that happened has a purpose. Hmm...i wonder whether or not Mrs. Chen has accepted You be4 she passed away. God...no matter what, heal MAC's soul that he'll be strong enough to come back to church and teach my Sunday School class.
(Matt 10 :38) and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.*ouch*...i'm definitely not worthy enough for You. I'm not worthy AT ALL...thank you for loving me...
*and then i kept on praying.....well, not really, i think i kinda fell asleep, hehe, coz i dont really remember what other things that i told God*
JC!!! guess what?? i'm introducing the song 'all day' to my youth group. we're coincidently looking for a theme song for our youth group right now...and i'm gonna let my leader listen to it today...pray that everything's gonna go smooth..JC look~what a BIG difference ur making in my life!...actually it's God working through u in my life..=)...and bethany dillon played a big role too...haha...
right after i'm done with this blog, i'm filling in the leadership form. God if it is Ur will, may i make a difference in the youth group. may i be a BIG help for some of the younger youth groupers who are new in their faith. and besides that, i pray that my faith and love in You will grow grow grow~~~

agape, Evelyn

i wanna cry...feel so much pressure

2004-09-09T19:20:00.000-07:00

oMG!!!!! y yyyy??? y do i have heart beats when i c tissana, GOODDD!!!...pls no crush!!! at least not yet...it's jsut the begining of the school year for goodness sake~~ poohuhuhuhuhuh....
dude...tissana's so smart...and he's so nice and he's such a gentelman~...always wanna make me feel comfortable and all...and he's soo blur and funny...so innocent~~ahhh~~ fall for innocent guys too easily...kinda stupid...
ok..think christian evelyn...think christian...
school ermmm...a lil weird today...i got lost in that HUGE campus...lol..i wanted to go south, but i went north of the campus..lol..i think i need a compass for college classes...and y is there soo many HOT guys in college??It's kinda crazy i look up, down, right and left, they're EVERYWHERE!!!AHH~~
english class was stupid, proffesor pepper decided to use The King James version of the Holy Bible as one of our text books, it's not wrong or anything, but the problem is, America's like an open country. Individual rights, free speech and so on. Doesn't he know how offensive the bible may be towards some people in class?such a sensitive topic to be talking about in this American society. and trust me, after sitting for his lecture today, i'm pretty certain that he's not a christian coz he has no clue what he's talking bout the bible. i'm kinda mad at him....
high school was really really great tho~ since i take choir as one of my high school classes, i get to sing loud in school like EVERYDAY~ such joy~=)
anyways, Doug's not really trying his hardest to work with me, and i'm getting really sad....=(
alrite, should prob hand myself out here, farewell...and may life unfold more of God's wonders to you today.

AIIYOOOHHH~~~

2004-09-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

i'm so lost...kate wants me to go clubbing with her in october..but i really dont wanna ..coz it's soo mind poluting plus, there's so many touching going on in clubs especially in america's clubs...
if i dont go, i'll never know what kinda environment she's socializing in, i'm really trying to understand her, so that i'll be able to connect myself to her, that way it'll be easier for me to talk to her bout God...i think it's wrong for me to go tho...but i really wanna know her frens...sigh...wat de heck....i need help....
i got tonnsss of hws and it's already 11 30pm...and i havent started at all....gosh....school's kinda sucky for now....hope it'll get better, i got to know vanessa better tho, and i'm happy bout that.! really really happy~ she's behaving better now, not that gosippy, not that sensitive, not that negative, she's awesome...hope she'll stay that way or even better, she'll move closer to God this year...
i wanna go clubbing, but i dont htink i'm ready! GOSHH~~
i think tisanna's being a lil weird today, he waited for me for an hour! and i already told him that i wasn't gonna meet him today, but he still waited, then he called me!! he never called me! he called me to talk to me, talk like the friends talk, the 2 hours talk! gosh...something's a lil wrong with his brain today....i hope everything's still normal tho...i PRAY to God that i wont have a crush on him...he's nice, but he's not a christian, so he better be far far away from my crush list~ eeiiyer~~~...=(..this is very frustrating, annoying and AHHHHH homewooorrrKKKSSS~~~ grrrrr.....

my bday gift's here

2004-09-07T23:30:00.001-07:00

today, after school, on our way going to our aptment, dad opened the post box, and ...anddd...i saw a HUGE envelope!! with my name on top of address!! doug's gift for my bwethday is finally here....ahh~ what a wonderful surprise after a looonnng day in school....doug!! the necklace is B-U-T full~~....i'm gonna put it on for prom..lol..and prom's like not happening in a year time...lol...but hey! it's so beautiful and sparkly and i look so elegant in it..*perasaan*..sigh...but doug, ur letter was WEIRD! it's like full of naggings...in the mid of the letter, u said u'll stop, but then u kept on going bout me must be careful, this lar that lar~ " ooo kui~"douglas, u having the aging symptoms liao!don't u think it's a lil too early for that now?lol...
other than that, i got another b'day card from laine. i was so touched, i cried when i was reading her letters and notes on the card. Friends are soo important in life, without them, u really wouldn't understand how important u r in this world. well, knowing God is the most important thing, but i really dont think i can live happily without frens.luv ya tons laine~!it was completely a surprise for me, didn't know that u were sending me a card~
observing Jesus' 12 disciples really made me understood how important it is to have accountibility partners in ur spiritual walk with God.
i can't hold one conversation with my school frens without swearing at least twice or three times...and why do i need to swear when i'm mad or panic-ie?...those words are like glued to my tongue...sad part is i've promised God that i'll give up swearing, and i totally broke my promise with God today...=(...
i have to learn how to say NO! and hang up phones from mean guys...VINH! why cant u stop bothering me!! we're through ever since a year and a half ago!! just stop bugging me! stop trying to make me regret for breaking up with u! i've never regretted breaking up with u ~ i was miserable with u!...stop giving me midnite rings coz u dont even say anything when i pick up the phone!r u tryin to scare me or something?and when we actualy do have a conversation, y do u always have to tell me bout the parties u go to and the girls that u banged with and the weed that u've smoked and the new house that ur gonna buy and they new cellphone that ur getting and the new car that u'll be reformating? just STOP!! stop telling my frens how aweful i am! stop threatening them! stop telling other guys that i'm a slut! stop making fun of the way i walk, the way i talk, the way i look, the way i live my life!gosh....i just wanna wrap u up with tape and lock u up somewhere!!
wow...i pretty much spazzed up there...sorry guys, i just needed to get it out....
alrite...time to study...and pilates workout makes u soo tired....i was shaking at the end of the training....-____-'

lOOONNNGG day...

2004-09-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

at 1 pm...we thought that it was a good time for us to go for some shopping....who would have known that our shopping session was gonna go up to 9 pm.!!wow!!!but we used sooo much money...gosh....
it was cool tho, coz i got myself a new pair of jeans, a new sweater, a pilates workout dvd, a new jacket, ermmm.....yea...i think that's all...oh yea, i got pics developed too, they're sooo ugly, but i guess i'll just have to use them for my b'day present project for Douglas LO....i'm sending Jc's and douglas's cd out to OZ tomorrow...finally got them beautifully wrapped and written happy b'day and best wishes all over the wrapper..just in case the postage ppl wanna steal it~
school's starting tomorrow, pa and ma brought cath and i to the U to check it out my classrooms....yea...can't believe i'm actually starting my classes in college from tomorrow onwards, but yea, i still have to go to high school part time(my last year)...
this is so great, i'm a senior in high school now, get to order ppl around, get to tease those freshmen...lol..jk, i'm not that mean...thinking bout teasing freshmen, i got jumped when i was a freshmen be4 (my 1st year in US), the senior guys were really mean and naughty, they were trying to trip me and they didnt let me out of the girl's restroom..=O...haha, i cried and naturally, i didnt go to school the very next day. but thank God,i was abled to put myself back together a few days later.*fuh*
douglas didnt keep his promise in our accountibility plan. He totally ditched me, leaving me doing all our devotion reports by myself...so sad =( humph~ as a punishment,he's gonna get a beLATE-LAted bday present! humph~
Gosh,i'm soo soo scared!really scared of school, but the U's so beautiful tho, i think i'm gonna love it there.i really HOPE so~~
yawn...i want to sleep! but i have to study for ACT!! AHHHHHHHHHH

today's sermon...God's sooo cuutee~~~

2004-09-05T23:23:00.000-07:00

AWESOME-NESS!! i got soo much out of it~ pastor mike was talking bout un-answered prayers. He was trying to tell us that there's actually no such thing as unanswered prayers...here, these are some of my notes...
WHY ARENT MY PRAYERS ANSWERED?
-sometimes God answers in ways which we dont want Him to answer
-God answers according to his PERFECT wisdom* His perfect wisdom which we , humans dont have*

4 important things...
- If our request is wrong, God says NO
- If our timing is wrong, God says SLOW
- If I am wrong, God says GROW..wrong as in, disobedience, and inadequate faith.
- If i got it right, God says GO~
answered prayers arent bout receiving what we want, but receiving what is ought to be in the Lord's eyes.

wanna know something special?? sometimes God delays His answers, just coz He wants us to pray more coz He's desperate to listen more of our voice...isnt that CUTE???how romantic~
prayers is not all bout requesting ur needs to God, it's the time when u communicate with God, u know like those special conversations that u have with ur parents? yea...actually God knows our needs even be4 we request it. When we pray, God enjoys the relationship that we're having with Him far more than just listening to requests....so yea...that's a really special point...
i mean can u believe it??? God!! the most POWERFUL being in the WHOLE universe~! the KING OF ALL KINGS and LORD OF ALL LORDS...is dying to listen to ur voice everyday coz He loves u THAT much!!~~ whooaaa.....far more romantic than guys giving me roses once a year!
today, i finally got to reconcile with gabe, my ex-bf from church. i found out that he wasn't that bad at all. He was kinda like me too, trying to grow in his spiritual life. sigh..i learned that i shouldnt be so negative towards life. Gabe was soo soo nice to me on the phone...and i said sorry bout what i've been feeling against him and asked him to pray for me...i'm trying to work on my humility lately. i need loads of em!
i'm sooo soo soo happy! mr. yakov told me during piano lessons that i was musical! mr. yakov! that perfectionist! that old russian teacher! called me, evelyn tsen, musical girl! * my heart is filled with tears of joy!* =*)
BLAAAAAAHHHH~~ school's starting....God watever happens this year, it'll all happen according to ur will...
i gotta start filling in the college forms this week...oh yea, scholarship forms too * sheesh *...no more freedom for the next 3 months...=(...
first college target-->concordia moorhead..very well known by it's musical programs...3 hours away from home...have GREAT scholarships..we'll see what happens

youth group+ my Chinese name??

2004-09-04T23:00:00.000-07:00

i had a LOOONNNGG talk with ma and pa today....talking bout the youth group here...sometimes, when i take a look at them...i feel soo mad and disgusted...how can they call themselves christians...i mean...the youth group activites are fine..but the peoplezz...gosh...they hurt me lots...i know i'm not suppose to judge and alll...but geezz...they're sooo fake...everything that they say, it's just like they're reading it out from a book without actually living it out....
and i'm sooo sooo pissed at ppl who joins worship team just for the sake of wanting to sing...worship teams arent made to help you to be better in singing, u do those in vocal lessons! but worship teams are made to give glory to God...not to show off ur hidden talents....and ppl in youth group just dont get it....sooo darn mad at them....
after 2 hours of talking...mom and dad finally concluded that this is not suppose to be my worries...coz God loves our youth group and our youth group belongs to Him...and i guess all i have to do is to let God reveal His will....and be joyous that i'm given a chance to serve Him through youth group...
Ever since i was young, i've always thought that my chinese name stands for the spirit of wisdom...haha...and i've always thought that pa and ma named me that way so that i would become a genius, get good grades and become a walking dictionary someday...but i've finally accepted the fact that i'm just not born to be a genius....
after the talk bout youth group....ma and pa started to talk bout me...they said that they've already planned to name me *sze ling* even be4 i was born...the reason why wasn't because they wanted me to be smart and all, even if I had all the wisdom in the entire world, and do not love God, i am NOTHING....anyways...they said that...they were moved by God to name me that way...coz they somehow..'somehow' knew that i was gonna do something extraordinary someday...instead of the definition of the spirit of wisdom, they said that my name actually stands for, the siprit that will always remember God...and the spirit that will always think of God in whatever successes that i might have....
....that is if i'll ever be successful.....

definition of sze ling: sze stand for mind= sze xiang , ling stand for Holy spirit= ling en

my new neighbor....

2004-08-31T09:18:00.000-07:00

ok...so there's this new family from ice land which jsut moved in...and their mom's a vocal instructor!! so i think i'll be able to get some lessons from her...i havent met them yet, but my mom told e that their daughter is a sweet heart...really hope she is...coz my last experience with an icelandic was pretty bad...But,God i pray that u'll provide a good relationship between me and this new next door gal....
got myself a new cd and a book that totally explained to me how false the da vinci's code is...stupid dan brown, he knows nothing of christianity, and da vinci...i think that the book should be named brown's code instead of da vinci....
i'm going back to the store to find more cds...i miss hillsongs...i went to the store yesterday, wanted to get myself United's new cd, but the store never ordered it, wat a dissapointment...
kate said that her parents are giving her pressure....hopefully she wont get too caught up with the world, u need some space to relax too hun~...gees, sometimes parents can be really BIG headed...
aites....that'll be all for today...lataz

THIS OnE'S FoR DaDDy~

2004-08-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

and i shall dedicate this blog to God....read it or not, that'll be UR choice....=)...